Gospel of John, chapter 18 --
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2 Now Judas, who betrayed him, knew the place (Garden of Gethsemane), because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. 3 So Judas came to the garden, guiding a detachment of soldiers and some officials from the chief priests and the Pharisees. They were carrying torches, lanterns and weapons.
4 Jesus, knowing all that was going to happen to him, went out and asked them, “Who is it you want?”
5 “Jesus of Nazareth,” they replied.
“I am he,” Jesus said. (And Judas the traitor was standing there with them.) 6 When Jesus said, “I am he,” they drew back and fell to the ground.
7 Again he asked them, “Who is it you want?”
“Jesus of Nazareth,” they said.
8 Jesus answered, “I told you that I am he. If you are looking for me, then let these men go.” 9 This happened so that the words he had spoken would be fulfilled: “I have not lost one of those you gave me.”
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Judas, we are told, was standing right next to Jesus during these events. One could almost believe they happened in order to demonstrate to Judas that he should have stuck with Jesus rather than selling Him out. Why do I say that?
This is my favorite part of the whole New Testament, and John the Apostle dutifully writes it as it happened without himself trying very hard to convince us of any extra spiritual significance in my favorite part...
... which is, at the moment Jesus identified Himself, the soldiers "drew back and fell to the ground."
Think about it. They asked Him if He was Jesus. He answered, "I AM". Yahweh. The unspeakable name of God, given to Moses at the burning bush on Mt Sinai 1,500 years before.
And when He identified Himself with "Yahweh", all the soldiers drew back and fell to the ground... with Judas, pointed out by John as standing RIGHT NEXT to Jesus, looking on. It is a parenthetical note, given at the SAME MOMENT at which the soldiers and priests fell down.
I think it's the right conclusion here to assume that John tells us Judas is next to Jesus at this MOMENT, precisely because this moment is played out for Judas' sake. THIS was the moment at which Judas really, fully realized how POWERFUL Jesus was, and how EASILY He could have dealt with Romans and other enemies if He had chosen to do it by force. But He DID NOT use force. The soldiers got back up, John doesn't tell us that they even REALIZED they had been knocked down, and they went about their business of taking Him back to the city to be arraigned.
And Judas, who probably had sold Jesus' location to the Romans in order to provoke the Son of God into using His power to free Himself, had to face two things --
1) Jesus most certainly WAS the Son of God, as His use of that power in the garden vividly demonstrated, and
2) Jesus was going to be executed... and Judas was to BLAME for that.
Judas was overcome by regret and agony. He personally had betrayed the Son of God into the hands of His tormentors. Is suicide unreasonable, at this point? Yes or no, Judas was dead in minutes. I think he killed himself.
Try to imagine, three or four hundred soldiers, with torches flickering in that garden of olive trees in the dark of night, and spears and swords clanking as they approached... every ONE of them drew back and fell to the ground, at the exact moment Jesus said the name that every Jew knew... YAHWEH.
I AM.
BOOM, the power of God was on display... not for the soldiers or the priests... they didn't even seem to KNOW that they had been knocked down, or at least there is no mention of that scenario.
JUDAS knew, this we are TOLD. He was standing NEXT to Jesus when the power of that name was deployed.
There are several real miracles in the Bible that nobody talks about in pulpits or Sunday lessons. Preachers are just scared of them. But this is in the Gospel of John. My favorite moment in the life of Jesus.
I have a dry leafy branch with a couple of dry olives on it from a Gethsemane olive tree, brought to me by the Palestinian gardener in Gethsemane. Been there three or four times. One of the trees is scientifically proven to have been alive over 2000 years ago.
It is called the Witness Tree. How I wish I could see what it has seen.
Easter is coming.